It is a truth universally acknowledged…that love is complicated. Everybody (yes, including you!) deserves to love and be loved, but romance isn’t one-size-fits-all, and it can be so hard to find that connection that feels right.
As you navigate crushes, situationships, and real love, astrology can be a huge help. You’ve probably already noticed that you tend to get along much better with certain sun signs than with others. You might have even promised yourself, “I’ll never date a [insert zodiac sign] again.”
Don’t be too sure! Sometimes, we hit it off beautifully with the zodiac signs we’re allegedly incompatible with, and sometimes, we get the ick from the sign that’s supposed to be our ideal love match. Why? Because synastry (the astrology of relationships) goes way deeper than just sun signs.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’ve put together a quick primer for you on how each one of the personal planets (that is, Mercury, Venus, and Mars, plus the moon) factors into the astrology of love. Ask your crush (respectfully, please!) for their birth info, and read on to see what it has to say about them—and about your potential for love.
The Moon
This is a biggie! The moon is the planet of your feelings, insecurities, and emotional needs, and it’s a good indicator of what makes you feel secure (or not) in a relationship. This means that if you and your crush both have moons in practical earth signs, for instance, you’re likely to be in tune with each other on an emotional level. On the other hand, if one of you has a chatty air moon and the other has a mysterious water moon, be prepared to have to work a little harder to build your connection.
Mercury
Communication is everything in relationships, which is why the location of Mercury—planet of thought, communication, and connection—in someone’s chart can be so revealing! Some Mercury placements (like Aries or Gemini) lend themselves to spirited banter, others (like Sagittarius or Aquarius) to intellectual discussions, and still others (like Cancer or Pisces) to sharing on a deep, intuitive level. By figuring out where your crush’s Mercury is, you can learn how to best connect with them.
Venus
What are you most attracted to in another person? What makes you feel beautiful? Which would feel most romantic to you: a candlelit dinner, a picnic in the park, or a spontaneous trip to Paris? Your Venus sign offers clues to questions about beauty, attraction, and romance. A Venus in Virgo, for instance, is likely to fall in love with someone who remembers tiny details about them, while a Venus in Leo may be more attracted to someone who showers them with attention. If you and your crush have compatible Venus signs, then real, heart-pounding, sweep-you-off-your-feet romance might be written in the stars!
Mars
Let’s talk about sex, baby! Tender or passionate? Vanilla or kinky? Do you like to be the one to initiate things, or would you rather your crush pursue you? Mars is an excellent indicator of what gets your fires burning and how you express that desire. If your crush has Mars in Libra, for instance, they probably value fairness strongly, so make sure you don’t always expect them to initiate things. If their Mars is in Capricorn, they’re probably turned on by confidence, so own your power. Bottom line: if your Mars signs play well together, expect the relationship to heat up in the best possible way.
Our readers can tell you more about what these placements mean on a practical level. And always remember: all this is just a jumping-off point! Think of your astrological charts like roadmaps: the hard work (and the fun!) of building a real relationship is all up to you.